Saturday, February 21, 2009

Strange Fiction

Ever heard of NANOWRIMO? It's also known as National Novel Writing Month--in which writers try to complete an ENTIRE novel in one month.

A few years ago, I made it to 40 pages. It was totally stream of consciousness writing, and what came out was, well, probably not publishable. I can tell it was heavily influenced by fiction like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams--though not a copy. Just in that vein of very strange fiction.

Here's the first minichapter of the mininovel:

Finky knew that standing on the roof-edge of a twenty-story building with his hands tied behind his back was not in his job description. But here he was, anyway.

He stared in front of him, wishing for a broom or King Kong or a huge bat (much as he hated the idea of a huge flying rodent). None of these appeared.

“Your time is up, buddy,” said the little orange man behind him. “Sayonara!”

“Japanese,” thought Finky. “He would have to use that at a time like this.”

He didn’t have much time to think about that, though, because the orange man pushed him hard, and he toppled off the building’s edge, giving a quick nod to the thirty-story building across the street.

A bird flew by, and Finky wondered how he could notice that at a time like this. Instead of his life passing before his eyes, it was a sparrow. “That figures,” he said to himself, thinking those were the lamest last words ever. He tried to think of something profound to say, something people could remember him by when he smashed into them on the sidewalk, but nothing came to mind. Until---“Yes,” he thought. “It’s good to start in the middle.”

He wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything, but this time he had more time to think, because he landed in a truck full of cotton balls that was speeding by.

“Cotton,” thought Finky. “The other white meat.”

He promptly passed out. It had been a long day, and, as it turned out, it was only half over.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Shocking Statistic

All seriousness aside, this is an illustration I created for a speech I gave yesterday.

According to 2008 statistics garnered from the U.S. Census Bureau and the USDA, there are more than six pigs for every person in the state of Iowa, my home state.

The state in which I now live, Maryland, is fifth in population density (it's five or six times smaller than Iowa but has 2.5 million more people), while Iowa is 35th.

It made for a good speech opener at Rotary and Toastmasters, I think. No deep meanings or criticisms intended--just interesting facts.